


I Never Said I Love You

by Davechicken



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 20:39:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9019030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Until now.





	

He’s said it several times now, and she’s either smiled or said, ‘me, too’. It’s getting to be a Thing, now, but she’s almost too afraid to break the chain. 

Once she says it, will he realise she’s not said it til then? Or does he know? Has he even paid attention to the fact that his lover’s best attempts at a love-confession are echoes back of his own voice and words? Does he know how terrified she is?

This is still new to her. She’s spent her whole life devoted to the Order, and that was fine. It wasn’t just fine, it was _everything_. Everything. Her every waking moment. Her every action, and thought. She’d thrown her whole being into her rank, and into her troops. 

Then along came this - this - _thing_. This man who walked in worlds she’d never understand. Who was tattered at the edges, and who both shrunk into, and clawed at the seams of his mask to be free. Kylo Ren.

Fierce in battle, fierce and fearless. He’d charge in with only the Force and his frozen-light blade to protect him, but she’d _seen_ his reflexes. Seen him take down three men at a time without blinking. A body honed to the deadliest of weapons, and…

So she likes how he’s put together. That’s not a crime. To begin with, her interest had been purely animal lust. There was nothing stopping her from touching herself to thoughts of him, only the worry he’d hear her. 

When she’d seen his face, it had been even worse. Such a striking set of features, eyes and nose and lips that haunted her dreams and the breaking cusp before them. 

But what she’d really _fallen_ for? Was him. Was his dry sense of humour. His dogged determination. His keen mind. 

He’d seen her as an equal - or as much as he saw anyone as an equal - for some time she wasn’t even sure if he _knew_ she was female, because he treated her just the same as any other soldier. And when he _definitely_ knew, he still treated her with the same respect. Maybe even more. 

So why can’t she tell him? This man who makes her smile and laugh, even when she’s sure she won’t be able to. Who she knows will always have her back, no matter what. Who lives to please her, and who adores her with all his heart. Who offers him everything, and barely asks for anything (though he takes with glee all she gives). Why is it so hard?

Phasma waits until he’s almost asleep. His breathing evened out, the sweat of their lovemaking evaporated from their skin. She burrows into his body, and pushes her face into the hollow of his chest.

“I love you,” she whispers. “I always have.”  


His thumb draws a smile over the corner of her mouth. “I knew,” he said. “I always knew.” 


End file.
